Picture this: You’re standing in a brightly lit hospital break room, surrounded by nervous energy and the smell of stale coffee. The lights dim, and suddenly, an enthusiastic voice booms over the PA system:
“Welcome to Nurse Survivor! The only game show where you’ll juggle patient care, family drama, and a broken coffee machine—all while keeping a smile on your face! Who will survive the shift from hell? Let’s find out!”
This isn’t your average nursing shift. No, this is the nursing world taken to a whole new level of absurdity, where every task feels like it belongs on a reality TV show. Ready to see what challenges await? Let the games begin!
The Setup: Enter the Madness
Meet our contestants:
- Samantha, the new grad RN, who’s still getting used to charting and walking at the same time.
- Carlos, the seasoned ICU nurse, who’s seen it all and probably has a story involving duct tape and a Foley catheter.
- Linda, the night shift queen, who’s managed to perfect the art of micro-napping during a code brown.
- Dr. Stevens, who appears briefly like a celebrity cameo, but always when you least expect him.
And what are they playing for? It’s not a million dollars, but how about the last functioning coffee pot, a spot in the break room with working Wi-Fi, or maybe even the mythical quiet shift?
Sounds tempting, right? Well, it’s time to dive into the challenges that make “Nurse Survivor” the most intense game show in the healthcare universe.
Challenge 1: The Speed Round—Bedside Blitz
Task: Complete a series of nursing tasks with the speed and precision of a NASCAR pit crew. Think it’s easy? You haven’t met your patients yet.
- IV Start Frenzy: You’ve got 10 IVs to start on 10 different patients. Some are easy—those veins pop up like a Google search. Others? They’re like trying to find Wi-Fi in the middle of nowhere. Oh, and did we mention one patient is a “hard stick” who’s had every vein used up during the last three hospital admissions? Good luck!
- The Wound Care Gauntlet: Your mission? Perfectly dress a complex wound without getting sidetracked by your patient’s colorful stories. They’re “helping” by trying to remove the dressing just as you’re securing it. Can you make it out with your dressing intact and your sanity?
- The Call Light Blitz: Imagine a room full of call lights going off like a Christmas tree, each with a request more bizarre than the last:
- “Can you move my bed two inches to the left?”
- “I need a Coke. No, Pepsi. Actually, I’m not thirsty.”
- “Can you call my cousin to tell him about my hospital stay?”
This isn’t just about speed; it’s about maintaining your composure as the madness unfolds. Nurse tip: Eye rolls are allowed—just make sure they’re internal.
Challenge 2: Family Feud—Nurse Edition
Nursing is a team sport, but sometimes the “team” includes the patient’s family—and that’s where the real challenge begins.
- The Overprotective Parent: They’ve done their homework and can recite medical conditions like they’re auditioning for “Jeopardy!” They’ve Googled every symptom, treatment, and conspiracy theory, and now they’re quizzing you on it. The goal? Educate without offending. Good luck managing the fine line between professional and “I’ll need a stiff drink after this.”
- The Absent Family Member: They’re never around, but when they do show up, they’ve got a laundry list of complaints and questions. “Why hasn’t Mom had a sponge bath today?” “Who’s in charge here?” Points if you can answer with a straight face while gently reminding them that they were MIA for the last three days.
- The “I Know a Doctor” Relative: This one’s a classic. They drop names like they’re at a Hollywood party, claiming their friend is a top surgeon at a prestigious hospital. Points for how long you can smile and nod without your eyes twitching.
Pro tip: The best way to survive this challenge is to master the art of diplomatic deflection. Remember, sarcasm is best kept inside your head!
Challenge 3: The Medication Marathon
Ready for a sprint? No? Too bad. It’s time for the Medication Marathon where the name of the game is “Administer meds on time despite a barrage of interruptions.”
- The Disappearing MAR: Just as you’re ready to hand out your meds, the electronic medical record system crashes. Welcome to the days of yore—grab your pen and paper, and hope you remember how to decipher doctor handwriting.
- The Crushed Pill Conundrum: You’ve got a patient who can’t swallow pills, but hates applesauce, yogurt, and anything else that could disguise the meds. Time to get creative with how you’re going to mix those crushed pills into something they’ll tolerate without a gag reflex kicking in.
- The “Forgotten Allergy” Surprise: You’re about to give the med, and bam—last minute, you realize your patient has an allergy. Cue the adrenaline rush as you double-check every allergy and prescription. Bonus points if you catch it before the patient does.
Here’s the secret to winning this challenge: Keep calm, keep organized, and keep that poker face ready for when the system goes down.
Challenge 4: The Teamwork Trouble Relay
If you thought nursing was a solo game, think again. In this challenge, you must collaborate with your fellow team members. Think “Amazing Race” but with more scrubs and stethoscopes.
- The Overworked Tech: Your tech is a superhero but they’re stretched thin. Need them in two places at once? Good luck tracking them down while also ensuring your patient is safely transferred to radiology. Bonus points if you manage to sweet-talk them into prioritizing your patient without sparking workplace drama.
- The Vanishing Doctor: Just when you need a clarification on an order, the doc is mysteriously “on break.” Find them, get the order fixed, and avoid the sarcastic remarks about their impeccable timing.
- The Intern’s Dilemma: You’re paired with a fresh-out-of-med-school intern who’s eager but nervous. Your job? Guide them through without scaring them off from the profession. Plus, there’s the small task of making sure their mistakes don’t lead to an epic fail on your shift. Teaching moments, anyone?
This challenge is all about balance. Keep everyone happy, keep the workflow smooth, and for the love of all things caffeine—keep your sense of humor intact.
Bonus Challenge: The Break Room Brawl
Even superheroes need a break, but the break room can be a battleground of its own. The goal here? Survive your break with some peace, quiet, and maybe even a cup of coffee.
- The Passive-Aggressive Coffee Note: Someone drank the last drop of coffee and left a note saying, “Please make more!” You could respond with another note, or you could take the high road and actually make more. Just know that the coffee karma is real.
- The Microwave Showdown: It’s like “Iron Chef” but with leftovers. Can you reheat your spaghetti without splattering it everywhere or causing a fire alarm? Points for creative use of the microwave settings.
- The Secret Stash: Someone’s got snacks hidden in the break room, and you’re on a mission to find them. Is it worth the risk? Absolutely—especially if it’s the last pack of Oreos.
Master the art of claiming your space in the break room, and you’ll come out of this challenge a true “Nurse Survivor” champ.
Final Challenge: Surviving the Night Shift
Welcome to the final showdown—Surviving the Night Shift. This isn’t just about staying awake; it’s about navigating the weird, the wild, and the downright unpredictable.
- The Sleepwalker: One patient’s sleepwalking, and they’ve managed to make it down the hall in their hospital gown. Your challenge? Get them back to bed without causing a scene or waking up half the floor.
- The Code Brown: It’s 6:55 a.m., you’re five minutes from clocking out, and it happens. The dreaded Code Brown. Can you clean up, hand over your patients, and still leave on time? Or will this mess haunt your dreams?
- The Midnight Buffet: The cafeteria’s closed, and you’re left with the vending machine and whatever that mystery casserole is in the fridge. Choose wisely, or face the wrath of late-night indigestion.
Pro tip: Keep snacks on hand, and always check expiration dates. Trust me, your stomach will thank you.
After the Chaos: And the Winner Is…
Who survived the madness? Who managed to navigate the gauntlet of patient care, family drama, and coffee shortages? Spoiler alert: It’s you. Every day you show up to work and face these challenges, you’re a winner in the nursing game. Cue confetti and applause!
But let’s be real—there are no million-dollar prizes in nursing. What you do get, though, is the satisfaction of making it through another shift, helping your patients, and maybe, just maybe, snagging that last cup of coffee.
Ready for the next shift, Nurse Survivor? Don’t forget to share your own nursing game show challenges in the comments below!
Feeling like a Survivor? Gear Up at That Nurse Life!
After surviving “Nurse Survivor,” you deserve a little treat! Whether it’s study materials to sharpen your skills or apparel that screams “Nurse Life,” head over to That Nurse Life. Check out our NCLEX flashcards to ace your next exam or snag a cozy sweatshirt to rock your shift in style. You’ve earned it, Nurse Survivor. And remember—coffee is life!
